been treated SO badly...can anyone help me understand?

weechatterbox · Joined: 03 Feb 2007 Posts: 1397 Location: Scotland

i really need some support if you guys don't mind. my heart is breaking and i don't understand WHY i've been treated the way i have. this is going to be a HUGE post but so much has happened.
i mentioned on here before i'd met a lovely guy called billy (31, same age as me) but he was a bit evasive and often cancelled things at the last minute.
i don't do falling in love quickly, but on this occasion i tumbled head over heels.
we texted and spoke on the phone every day. he seemed very keen on me - he got me to invite his mum to be my friend on bebo and started us chatting, he took me to a party, to a wedding where he was best man, introduced me to all his friends and his work mates...
and he told me he loved me.
he writes beautiful poetry and he sent me dozens of rhymes by text and on bebo about how i'm so special.
he said "i've waited 31 years to find you and i never want to let you go". "i love you and i think we'll be together a long time" and similar stuff.
everything was great...apart from the fact that every time we arranged to meet, something always seemed to come up.
but he wasn't avoiding me, that was the odd thing.
he works awkward shifts in a petrol station so even if we couldn't go out on a date, he'd say 'pop in and see me next time i'm at work'. and when i was there he would kiss and hug me and tell all his customers i was his girlfriend.
on bebo, he updated his status to 'seeing someone'. then on xmas eve he updated it again to 'in a relationship'. and he posted pix of me on his site.
on xmas eve i went to his work to see him, and he seemed a little evasive but ok. he said he wanted to see me on xmas night....we hadn't slept together (well we had once, but it was a bit of a quickie a few weeks ago and then we didn't do it again. he said he wanted to wait till we knew each other better. i really liked that! i thought it was lovely and respectful and special).
on xmas eve after i'd seen him, i phoned him and he was really snappy. i called him again on xmas day and he was even grumpier. i said 'do you want to leave it later and not bother going out?' and he snapped NO.
anyway, i was meant to be picking him up from his mum's house at 8.30pm on xmas night, cos he'd said he wanted me to meet his family.
at 4pm i got a text saying 'i can't see you tonight. i need time. it's moving too fast. i don't know what's wrong with me. i'm sorry'.
i tried to phone him and he IGNORED me.
i texted and he kept replying saying 'i'm sorry i need time'.
then he went quiet on me and TOTALLY ignored me.
this was less than 24 hours after he told me he LOVED me. sent me the bebo poem. and updated his status to 'in a relationship'.
for two days i cried CONSTANTLY. then i phoned him the day after boxing day from my new number and he only answered cos he didn't realise it was me! i said 'my mates think this is your diplomatic way of telling me to f*** off. is that right...or do you genuinely need time?'
he snapped 'i TOLD you i need time. but you keep contacting me.' then he said he'd phone me back, but i knew he wouldn't so i hung up and texted 'i'll call you in the new year'.
i went on his bebo and nearly threw up! he has a pal called debbie who has always been listed as 'the other half of me'. and the tag line said 'my wee pal'.
when i went online after talking to him on the phone, i discovered he had changed his relationship status to 'it's complicated' and changed the tag on debbie's photo to 'what dreams are made of'!!!!
i THEN discovered debbie had posted him a bebo message saying 'to my gorgeous other half. thank f*** you have finally seen sense and i don't need to keep hitting you over the head with a stick. text me when i get out your bed'. she was obviously referring to getting rid of me!
i was DISTRAUGHT.
he had already told me that he and debbie had had a bit of a kiss a few months back, then she went cold on him so they never went beyond friends. but she seems to pull the strings in his life. apparently she made him delete another ex from bebo cos she was jealous, and he told me that she HATED me. he said now that he'd started seeing me, she wanted him again!
next thing i knew, he'd deleted his relationship status altogether from bebo, took off my pictures and removed romantic posts he'd put on MY wall saying he loved me. when all those changes appeared on his bebo i sent him a furious text asking if he and debbie were an item, and he replied 'no we're just mates. debbie is 'at it' with her bebo posts',.
he then continued to ignore me until monday, when my mate phoned him and said 'put that girl out her misery. she's devastated'.
THEN he sent me a string of horrible texts saying 'you're not for me. leave me alone. run off back to your ex'.
omg...how did this HAPPEN? on xmas eve he said 'i love you'. 20 hours later...i got this.
his MUM then messaged me on bebo and said 'i'm sorry it didn't work out for you two'.
i replied and said 'do you have any idea what went wrong? he won't tell me. could you please tell him i love him and if he changes his mind, he's to call. oh and does he have someone else?'
she messaged yesterday and said 'i've talked to him and he doesn't want anything to do with you. i'm sorry. but he did NOT leave you for another woman'.
wtf?
i am dumbfounded.
how can ANYONE turn so nasty in 20 hours.
can anyone shed any light?
sorry it's such a long post.
i have had the worst xmas of my entire life.
:-(
xxxx

weechatterbox · Joined: 03 Feb 2007 Posts: 1397 Location: Scotland

ps: he's locked me out his bebo too!!! removed me as a friend and locked his site (which was public before).
it's too bizarre.
cos even if i wasn't right for him, we didn't fall out. i didn't actually DO anything wrong (that i know of!!). so why has he turned so nasty and foul on me overnight?
i mean, in my mind, there's no reason why we couldn't just be mates.
why on EARTH has he gone totally evil!!?!?!
xxxxx

deri2oo8 · Joined: 06 Oct 2008 Posts: 79

Aww, that all sounds terrible. Sounds like he was playing with your head.
I wouldn't waste my time with an immature man who couldn't be honest with me
I am useless with advice sorry lol
xxxx

dragonfly · Joined: 21 Aug 2007 Posts: 1133 Location: South Wales

Hes a selfish tosser.. you better off without him xx
_________________
Proud mummy to Danni and Erica! But wishes they were immune to tummy bugs

Lolly · Joined: 05 Oct 2007 Posts: 563

He's a man god knows what goes through there head, just leave him babe let just ignore him don't let him see your upset over him.

I know its hard but try to move on or show him that you are, then if he comes running back you can laugh in his face.

He sounds like a 16year old boy in school lol hes not worth it your much better :)

Concentrate on looking after them lovely boys of yours :)

I'm on msn if you ever need a chat?

I've been walked over by too many guys (well i say men loosly, boys) in my time.

They will only make you stronger when you come out the other side :)

xxxx
xxx
xx
x

MissJet · Joined: 08 Dec 2008 Posts: 51 Location: England

Why would you want a man who treats you like that??? Your far better than that hun xxx