Mom had surgery

Julie · Mom had surgery

Hi everyone,
It's so nice to not be posting about nausea for once! I just needed to rant a little because my mom just had surgery this morning to clean out her left coratid artery in her neck. It was 80% blocked so they actually took it out, cleaned it, and stuck it back in! Isn't modern medicine amazing? Anyway, although my mom and dad have both been calm about the whole thing I'm still a nervous wreck, I mean that's my MOTHER! I only have one!!! She got thru the surgery just fine, no problems, but she has to stay in the intensive care unit overnight for monitoring. Her blood pressure was really low and the surgeon said that's common for this type of surgery because operating on the arteries can mess up the body's blood pressure sensors. They were able to get her pressure back up with some medication but she asked them to stop it because it made her feel yucky (not sure exactly how, my dad didn't say). So she's still doing fine but she wants to go home because, obviously, no one wants to stay in a hospital!

Everything seems fine and I really should rest easy but I just can't shake my anxiety (surprise!). I keep imagining some terrible complication like a stoke or a heart attack or something awful that kills her or seriously harms her. I know she's in good hands now, but if she's released tomorrow she'll only have my dad who is certainly not a doctor and anything could happen. Why do I keep playing this worst case scenario in my head?!? I got hardly any sleep last night because I was up worrying and I'm sure tonight will be the same. I just think of how lost I would be without her, my mom really means the world to me. Of course I have my wonderful husband, but no one can replace your mom. I'm crying just thinking about it!

It's a "routine" surgery and it usually has great results even with eldery patients (my mom's only in her early 60's) so I really shouldn't worry. Oh well, I'll just go check my email for the millionth time and try to get myself sleepy -- I need to be tired enough to pass out, that's the only way I'll get any sleep. Thanks for letting my get this out, I hate to act like this in front of my family!

Julie

Tapir

It's amazing what they can do with modern medicine! I'm glad your mum has come through the surgery fine. I'm sure they won't release her unless her recovery is going well and the chances of her having any other problems are as low as possible! It is horrible when a loved one has surgery though, I was a nervous wreck when my parents had ops.

Sending lots of good vibes for her

Lins xx

weechatterbox

hey julie
first up, hugs to your mum.
and to you, poor soul.....
i can understand why you are so stressed. i promise you it is natural.
i don't have a close emotional relationship with my mum, which upsets me. i'd like to be closer to her but somehow it just never seems to happen.
that said, i love her more than life....we have great laughs etc, but she's not someone i could turn to for much comfort cos she doesn't really understand me very well.
anyway, regardless of all this, i dwell a lot on what i would do if anything happened to her.
as you say, she's your mum and you only ever have one!!!
recently i've started thinking on how she's 60, and if she only lives to 80 (god how negative am i?)...that's only 20 more years i have with her.
which seems a lot....but it's not really. i'm 30 and i look back 20 years to being 10 and think 'that doesn't seem so long ago'.
then the panic sets in and i think 'oh god....we don't have much time left'.
i see my mum every day...she watches my kids for me....so sometimes it feels like i never left home
Smile

i depend on her so much for practical things like cooking (cos my emet makes me too scared to prepare meats and proper meals)...and i just need to know that she's around. when she's away on holiday at the summer i literally have a panic attack the whole time.

there's nothing wrong in needing your mum...or being afraid of losing her.
your fears are just heightened cos you see her looking vulnerable and needing someone to take care of her.
it's kinda scary to see the 'strong' person in your life so helpless.
she sounds like she's doing well and she's a strong woman.
you'll have her back on her feet in no time.
tell her you love her.....and try not to worry.
love gailx

Julie

Thank you both for your support. It's been a nervous journey for sure. She's still in the hospital as she can't get her blood pressure up high enough on her own. I'm trying not to worry but it's so hard....

Gail, I'm sorry you're not as close to your mom as you'd like. I do the exact same thing thinking about how much time I may have left with my parents and it does sound like a long time but doesn't feel like enough. I guess the fact of the matter is that none of us have any idea how much time we have so we should live like we have no tomorrow...

Julie